Postpartum Depression and Bonding with Your Baby: Tips for Building a Strong Relationship
Time to bond with baby can look very different for every type of mother. You may define baby bonding time based on what employers provide for you in your state. Another mom may define it by the timeline of the baby’s first year of life. Or the time your doctor approves for a mother to be on leave to spend time with the baby.
Whatever the case, the reality is that bonding with your baby postpartum is an automatic part of the experience of being a mother. For some, bonding seems to come, naturally. While for others, it is a curious phenomenon that takes some time to figure out. If you are limited career-wise with the time you have to stay at home with your baby, you might feel hopeless about being able to connect as a mother and baby in a short amount of time. Stay-at-home mothers may feel burnt out by the amount of time they are spending with baby and find themselves being irritable, tearful, or overwhelmed. These thoughts and feelings are common for mothers and it’s okay to notice that you may need some support.
A few simple changes that are often suggested during postpartum therapy will allow you to increase the quality of your bonding experience.
Tips For Bonding From an Online Postpartum Therapist in California
Be Mindful with Baby
Sometimes negative thoughts can get in the way of us being able to enjoy precious moments. Focusing too much on negative assumptions or judgments can cause you to disconnect from the moment. Developing mindfulness skills in your daily life will assist you with enriching the connection you have with your baby. Mindfulness begins with using your senses to connect with the environment around you. In addition, if you notice the thoughts that come up when you are interacting with your baby and limit the amount of judgment you place on yourself, then you can build up your intuition as a person and a parent.
For example, imagine you are bathing your baby. You notice the temperature of the water, the softness of your baby's skin, the smell of the baby wash, mixing in the water, hearing the laughter of your baby, and the way your arms carry the heaviness as you continue to bathe them. You may also notice thoughts of judgment or questioning yourself, as you bathe your baby and you begin to ask yourself if you are bathing the baby correctly.
Rather than allow your thoughts to wander and place more judgment on yourself, try replacing those negative thoughts with just noticing that you find yourself asking questions about how to bathe your baby. Then, refocus yourself on the present moment and again hear the laughter of your baby. Enjoy being there with them for this experience.
Develop Routines with Baby
Anytime, a mother hears about eating routines, sleep routines, and parenting approaches to raising a baby, it can feel overwhelming. Most are just trying to be helpful when they suggest ways to raise your baby, however, the mother knows best ultimately. It’s OK to information gather. But if you are feeling lost, be sure to check with your doctor first about the healthiest routines that fit you and your baby specifically.
Routines can be helpful in any relationship because each person learns to rely on the other. Once your baby learns that there is a routine, they will remember and begin to respond to what you have communicated to them. For example, if you decide to feed your baby on demand, meaning whenever they cry, then the baby learns “when I cry, my mom will feed me“. This becomes a routine for the baby to communicate with their mother that they are hungry.
By responding to your baby’s form of communication, you are building trust through a routine. As a parent, you do have some control over routines. So you can decide which types of routine work best for you and your family as long as you’re meeting the needs of your baby. Routines can also be beneficial for you as a mother. As you begin to understand the structure of your day and night times and can build in other activities that you need to take care of yourself and your family.
Schedule Personal Time
When you first arrive home with a baby, it can be hard to imagine that you would allow anyone else to hold them or give yourself permission to take time away from them. This motherly instinct encourages you to stay with your baby and protect them in the first weeks when your baby is vulnerable to being outside of your womb. As the weeks go on, it can be easy to neglect ourselves as mothers as we forget about our own needs.
Neglect of self can lead to experiencing many health problems, including postpartum depression. When you experience postpartum depression symptoms, it can be difficult to find the motivation to engage in activities. It may also be a struggle to enjoy interacting with your baby. For this reason, it’s important to take care of your own needs, and health, so that you can show up as your best self for your baby to protect the bond you have with them. Be sure to schedule your own doctors’ appointments. It is also important to have natural supports in your life to reach out to. This can include a postpartum therapist or friends who enjoy activities that you do.
Although you may not want to put down your baby, your mood can be affected by daily routines if you are neglecting yourself. Simple personal time to eat, take a shower, and tidy up your space can bring about a more positive outlook for a mother. Once you have established safe and supportive people in your life who can assist with your baby, consider scheduling personal time to engage in activities. These personal activities will allow you to connect with others, connect with yourself, and give you the space to meet your own needs.
Final Thoughts From A Online Postpartum Therapist
When you take care of yourself, you can show up in a more full and whole way for your baby. Just as it’s difficult to bond and play with your baby when they are tired, it would be difficult for your baby to connect with you. If you are sleep deprived or not meeting your own needs it is imperative that you ask your loved ones, medical doctor, and postpartum therapist for help to develop the best plan for you. You do not have to face postpartum depression alone and there are many resources that are available to mothers so that you can prioritize getting your and your baby’s needs met. Mental health therapists that offer postpartum therapy are aware of resources in your state and community. A Postpartum therapist can discuss which approaches and programs are right for you.
Start Therapy With A Postpartum Therapist Online in California
It is okay if you are struggling to bond with your baby, you are not alone. With the support of a postpartum therapist, you can create a plan that ensures that your needs are met. Which will allow more quality time spent bonding with your baby. If you are ready to start postpartum therapy online at Online Therapy California follow these steps:
Reach out to speak with a postpartum therapist
Schedule your first appointment for online counseling for postpartum depression
Start getting support in meeting the needs of you and your baby
Other Online Therapy Services in San Francisco & Throughout California
Besides postpartum therapy, our online therapists also offer a variety of other services throughout California. This includes anxiety treatment online, life transition therapy, and help with stress management. As well as support for depression, work, relationships, and parenting.
